Saturday, March 29, 2014

Intimidate the Devil

Proverbs 13:12

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Hope Deferred

Delayed hope, or hope put off makes our hearts sick. It grieves our spirit. It zaps our energy and fills our hearts with darkness. God knows this. Don’t give up hope, God hears our cry for help! He will send us our cloud of hope, even if it is very small, it is something we can see and know He is working on our behalf.

Will we worship and walk in obedience waiting for God to bring hope and answers? Do you trust God? This is what the Christian faith is all about… faith believing God is there and this brings hope.

Far too often believers give up when their prayer is not answered or things don’t go according to your plans. We think God is mad or didn’t hear our cry. There is an element of faith believing every Christian has to walk through. Do we just love God when times are good, and then when times are hard we give up on God?

We have to be mature believers and decide I will trust God and hope in God no matter the circumstance.

Helpless but not hopeless! In our weakness God is strong. We can stand knowing when we are walking through a hard situation, in our helplessness, God sees our condition. Just like a loving parent sees and helps a helpless child, this is what God does with us. We have to realize this is humility and it is also strength. Humility in that we are not relying on our own abilities, and strength because we totally rely on God’s. This is what David did when facing Goliath. David’s brother, Eliab, thought David was arrogant when he came to the front lines of battle to find out what was going on with his big brothers and the nation of Israel.

1 Samuel 17:11 (NKJV)

“When Saul and all Israel heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid.”

Remember one of the words for “despair” is “dismayed.” King Saul and all of Israel had lost hope. They didn’t believe they would prevail. Unbelief is trusting in your own strength. Unbelief is pride, the opposite of humility.

This world will tell you that being humble is to be meek and timid, but that is not humility at all. True humility is not relying on your own strength but on God’s. It is a knowing that God will prevail in spite of circumstances and fears. It is believing God is Who He says He is and walking in His power and insight.

Read 1 Samuel 17:12 – 18

David knew who he was. He was a Mighty Man Of God, yet even his father treated him as a child sending him to look after his brothers and report back what was going on. I am sure David burned in his chest the desire of being on the front lines in battle. Knowing David’s character, and Who He relied on in every circumstance, he wanted to show God’s power by annihilating the enemy. David wasn’t afraid of the Giants or what people thought of him.

David lived in his hopes. Saul, David’s brothers, and the Israelites lived in their fears. It paralyzed them from doing anything great. It put them in bondage and they couldn’t advance. If it weren’t for David, all of Israel would have been killed or turned into Philistine slaves.

Read 1 Samuel 17:19 – 30

Eliab’s view of David was skewed. Eliab believed he was speaking out of insight and wisdom, but Eliab’s pride got the best of him. He asked David, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle” (1 Samuel 17:28). Yet, right before all this happened, King Saul was tormented by a distressing spirit and was troubled. The servants of King Saul suggested getting a man who is a skillful payer on the harp to play and ease the king’s spirit. One of Saul’s servants already knew about David. He told the king, “Look, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing , a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the LORD is with him” (1 Samuel 16:18).

No matter what our family or others think of us, there will be people who truly see us for who we are; “Mighty Men and Women of God!” David’s older brother, Eliab, never saw David as anything but his younger little brother, who he thought was a prideful, arrogant sheep herder.

Don’t listen to the “nay-sayers” in your life. They don’t see you as God sees you. David was facing Giants. Not only in the physical, but also mentally with his older brother and what he thought of him. If David listened to his older brother the battle would have never been won. The Philistines would have prevailed. David overcame the Giant of Nay-sayers when he turned from his brother and asked someone else what was going on and what was the reward for defeating Goliath.

Philippians 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

This should be our motto! This should drive us daily to do all that God has called us to do. This is what we have to walk in every situation, trial, hardship, and fear.

Read 1 Samuel 17:31 – 42

The word “Disdain” means:  “lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike, a communication that indicates lack of respect by patronizing the recipient, look down on with disdain, reject with contempt.” Synonyms:  contempt, scorn, condescension, despise, reject, turn down.

How many times have you faced this very experience in your life? People who looked down on you and rejected you for some reason or another. They had disdain in their hearts. Remember that God is a god Who sees! God knows what you are up against. He knows the hearts of everyone involved. Trust that God will bring justice out of false accusations or mistreatment. In the meantime, keep on walking and doing what you believe God has called you to do!

Read 1 Samuel 17:42 – 43

The Philistine taunted David with his words. If David believed them, the battle would have been lost. But immediately David responded to the Philistine.

1 Samuel 17:45 – 47

“Then David said to the Philistine, ‘You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defiled. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. Then all this assembly shall know that the LORD does not save with sword, and spear; for the battle is the LORD’s, and He will give you into our hands.”

David didn’t cower after Goliath taunted him with condemning words. No, David came back with words of intimidation and faith. He looked at his Giant and spoke to his Giant the very words his Giant was speaking to him, but with God’s anointing and boldness, and authority. Don’t let the giant intimidate you, you intimidate the giant. Pursue and conquer!

Read 1 Samuel 17:48 – 58

Verse 51

“Therefore David ran and stood over the Philistine, took his sword and drew it out of its sheath and killed him, and cut off his head with it. And when the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they fled.”

David took Goliath’s own sword, which was still in its sheath, and killed him. The very sword Goliath should have used to kill David. The very words Goliath used to taunt David, was the very thing that happened to him. David used his enemies’ own weapon against him. Goliath didn’t even have his weapon out for battle. What was up with that? If one thinks they are heading into battle, weapons are drawn and ready. Goliath was so arrogant he didn’t even think he needed to defend himself. That is the mind-frame of the enemy. He thinks he has already won, but in reality, he has defeated himself. How? By disregarding the power and authority of God’s servants. We, as God’s servants, God’s warriors, can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! We are more then conquerors through Him who loves us! God has already won, we just get in battle position and watch the hand of God annihilate our enemy.

David learned how to walk in hope in spite of any fear he may have had.

Hope prevails

This is how hope prevails in spite of circumstances we face. We have to learn how to find hope. Sometimes we are too weak to walk in hope, but we can stand in it. Stand, knowing God is fighting your battle. Stand, in the face of fear. Remember who is for you and not against you! After standing, God will give you His grace to start walking in His hope. Believe God for a small cloud of hope. Press in to God and expect Him to answer your cry.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Pre-existence

All things (including us as humans) were first created spiritually, before physically:

"By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible." - Hebrews 11:3

Not only were we spirits before we were born on Earth, but our spirits are the literal offspring of God. He is the father of our spirits, which is why we call Him our Heavenly Father.

Then we were blessed to be born on the earth that God created and received a physical body to house our spirits. God endowed each of us with our individual agency. The main purpose for God creating man is that God wants each one of us to become a partaker of his divine nature !. We are here on earth to bring heaven to earth. So we as humans are more progressed than holy angels as we are God's chosen spirits !.

We can surmise from 1 Corinthians 6:2-3 that we, as God’s children who accept Jesus as lord and savior, will be given a higher position than the angels. We’re not only created in God’s image, but redeemed by Christ (Galatians 3:13; 1 Peter 2:9; Luke 1:68; Ephesians 1:7). Angels are not created in God’s image and are not redeemed by Christ (Hebrews 1:14; 2:16). Also, God sends His angels to serve His saints those who are to inherit eternal life (Hebrews 1:14; Psalm 34:7; Psalm 91:11).

Long Before God created man, God's plan of salvation was explained and discussed in "councils in heaven," followed by the War in Heaven where Satan rebelled against the plan of Heavenly Father. In my opinion, Satan's rebellion is connected to him rejecting God's plan of salvation for mankind. It's because only mankind (the chosen spirits) will have the opportunity to be partakers of God's divine nature and bring heaven to earth !.

Satan fell because of pride. He desired to be God, not to be a servant of God and his saints. Ezekiel 28:12-15 describes Satan as an exceedingly beautiful angel. Satan was likely the highest of all angels, the most beautiful of all of God's creations, but he was not content in his position. Instead, Satan desired to essentially “kick God off His throne” and take over the rule of the universe. That's why Satan was cast out of heaven. Lucifer and all the angels were continually in God’s presence and had knowledge of the glory of God. The Bible says that the severity of God’s judgment varies according to how much knowledge a person possesses (Luke 12:48).

The difference between us and Satan regarding the approach of being like God is that We are in the process of becoming like God through the one true God but Satan wanted to be like God separated from the one true God !.

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Saturday, March 15, 2014

Is Judas Iscariot in Heaven or Hell?

Part One: When did Judas Die?

Let us begin our study with I Corinthians 15:3-5, according to which the resurrected Christ appeared to the twelve.

1 Corinthians 15:3-5, "For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:"

For many, this scripture has been a stumbling block since, according to tradition, Judas died before the crucifixion and therefore, if this tradition was right, then here the Word of God should have written "eleven" instead of "twelve".

The investigation below starts by confirming that the "twelve" of the above passage are the well known "twelve" that included Judas. After that, we continue with a detailed analysis of the gospel records that refer to the post-resurrection appearance of Jesus that happened at the evening of the "first day of the week". Though this appearance is not the appearance to the twelve, it is very important to examine it since, as we will see, Judas was there when it happened. Apart from this, the examination of this appearance is necessary for a good understanding of the gospel record of the appearance to the twelve. After that, the investigation will continue with the examination of the traditional view and the passage of Matthew 27:3-5 that is used to support it. Finally, the article will close with the study of another passage that will help us to specify the time of Judas' death more accurately.

The Twelve of I Corinthians 15:5

According to the above given passage of I Corinthians 15, the resurrected Christ appeared to the twelve. To reconcile this reference with the tradition according to which Judas died before the crucifixion, it has been suggested that the twelve here are the old eleven disciples plus Matthias that substituted Judas in Acts 1:26. However, a conjecture like this is not supported neither from the references of the Word of God regarding the time that Matthias was counted as one of the twelve nor from the passages of the gospels that refer to some of the post-resurrection appearances of Jesus Christ. But let's examine this issue in more depth.

It is evident that there is no change in a specific group of people if there is no change in its composition. The original composition of the group of the "twelve" disciples is given in Matthew 10:1-4 as well as in Mark 3:14-18 and in Luke 6:13-16. Luke 6 for example tells us:

Luke 6:13-16, "And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles; Simon, (whom he also named Peter) and Andrew his brother, James and John, Philip and Bartholomew, Matthew and Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called Zelotes, And Judas the brother of James, and Judas Iscariot, which also was the traitor."

As it is evident from this passage, the original composition of the group of the twelve included Judas Iscariot. Many other passages in the gospels also witness that Judas Iscariot was "one of the twelve" (Matthew 26:14,47, Mark 14:10,43, Luke 22:3,47, John 6:71).

Thus, whenever we read "the twelve" we should understand it as a term that denotes the group of the above twelve people, except if there is a change in the composition of this group. In this later case, when the reference is to events before the change the number "twelve" should be understood as the group of the above twelve men, while when the reference is to events after the change, the meaning has to be adjusted correspondingly. In our case, the event that the Word of God speaks about in I Corinthians 15:5 is the resurrection of Jesus Christ and his appearances that followed it.

Therefore, the simple question that has to be asked is what was the composition of the group of the twelve at the time of the resurrection? Was Matthias numbered with the eleven at that time? The exact time and the process that was followed for the inclusion of Matthias in the group of the remaining eleven disciples is given in Acts 1:15-26. From this record we learn that sometime between the ascension and the day of Pentecost, Peter proposed the substitution of Judas by someone else. The candidates were two: the one was "Joseph called Barsabas" and the other was "Matthias." How the choice was made and who was chosen is described in Acts 1:24-26

Acts 1:24-26, "And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen, That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place. And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles."

Now, since only at that point Matthias was numbered with the eleven, this obviously means that he wasn't numbered before (the Greek word that is translated as "numbered" in the above passage is the verb sugkatapsephizo, which means "to be numbered with", "to be counted with" or "to be calculated with" and denotes the inclusion of something/someone into a particular group). Therefore, whenever we meet the expression the "twelve" and the reference is to events that happened before Acts 1:26 what is meant is the twelve of Luke 6:13 that included Judas. On the other hand, when this expression refers to events that happened after the inclusion of Matthias then what is meant is the new composition of the group that excluded Judas and included Matthias. Bearing this in mind we should not have any problem to understand who are the twelve of I Corinthians 15. The corresponding passage refers to the appearance that happened before "Matthias was numbered with the eleven."

Therefore, since at that time, Matthias was not yet one of the twelve, the expression "by the twelve" of I Corinthians 15 refers to the original twelve of Luke 6:13 that included Judas. This does not mean that Matthias didn't see the resurrected Jesus, because he did, indeed, see it. In fact, in his proposal given in Acts 1:15-23, Peter says:

"Therefore, of these men who have accompanied us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, beginning from the baptism of John to that day when he was taken up from us, one of these must become a witness with us of his resurrection" (Acts 1:21-22).

For Matthias to be proposed (Acts 1:23) it means that he fulfilled all these requirements. The fact that except of the twelve others also saw the resurrected Christ is also confirmed by the gospels (Luke 24:33-36) and by I Corinthians 15:6 that speaks for an appearance to "five hundred brethren." The point, therefore, is not whether Matthias was a witness of the resurrection for he certainly was. The point is whether, at the time of the resurrection, he was counted with the eleven apostles. As scripture tells us, he was not.

Some claim that, even though Matthias was not an apostle at the time of Jesus' resurrection, he was an apostle at the time the book of Corinthians was written. Therefore, they referred to Matthias as an apostle (in 1 Corinthians 15:3-5) for that reason. However, this is not supported anywhere in scripture.

For example, scripture does not say that "Paul, an apostle of Christ, was consenting unto his (the apostle Steven's) death" in Acts 8:1. Nor does it say "Paul, an apostle of Christ, he made havock of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison" in Acts 8:3. Scripture does not refer to Paul as an apostle of Christ at this point in time, because Paul was not ordained an apostle at the time he was persecting believers in Christ, even though he was an apostle at the time the book of Acts was written. Likweise, scripture does not say "And as Jesus passed forth from thence, he saw a man, named Matthew, an apostle of Christ, sitting at the receipt of custom" in Matthew 9:9. Why? Because Matthew was not ordained an apostle when he collected taxes for Caesar. Niether were Peter and Andrew called apostles of Christ when they were commercial fishermen (Matthew 4:18), even though they were all apostles at the time the gospels were written. The reason is because they were not apostles at this point in time. They were only referred to as apostles from the point in history that they were ordained as apostles. The same goes for Matthias, who was ordained an apostle of Christ after the resurrection of Jesus.

Further evidence regarding the presence of Judas after the resurrection is given by the gospel records of two of the post-resurrection appearances of Jesus.

The Appearance "at the evening of the first day of the week"

This appearance is described in three out of four gospels. For a complete picture it is needed to examine each of these records carefully. Let's begin with John.

The Witness of John

The witness of John to this appearance is given in John 20:19:

John 20:19, "Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you."

Though this verse does not specifically state who of the disciples were present at this appearance, verse 24 of the same chapter tells us who was not present:

John 20:24, "But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came."
So from the above record we can conclude that in the appearance that happened at the "evening of the first day of the week" Thomas was certainly not there. This information has vital significance for the right understanding of the corresponding records of Mark and Luke and thus we should keep it in mind.

The Witness of Luke

Having examined the witness of John, let's examine the witness of Luke about the same appearance. The four gospels complement each other and to have a complete picture of something we should examine all the available records making sure that all of the them refer to the same event. One of the most frequent reasons of errors in the division of the Word of God, that is especially relevant in the gospels, is the confusion of similar things as identical. Indeed, it is not at all necessary; just because two records are similar (the healing of a blind man for example) it does not mean these records refer to the same exact event. Whether they do so or not is something that has to be determined after a careful examination of the context of the corresponding records.

Returning to our topic, the witness of Luke to the post-resurrection appearance that occurred at "the evening of the first day of the week" is given in chapter 24. Verse 1 informs us that the day is "the first day of the week." Then verse 13 tells us that two of the disciples (these disciples didn't belong to the group of the twelve) "went that same day" [i.e. the first day of the week] to a village called Emmaus which was seven miles from Jerusalem. Somewhere in this journey Jesus joined them and verses 15-31 give a description of the wonderful fellowship that they had together and how at the end "their eyes were opened and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight" (verse 31). When these disciples arrived at Emmaus, it was "toward evening" as verse 29 says. After they recognised Jesus, Luke 24:33 tells us what these two disciples did:

Luke 24:33, "And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together, and them that were with them,"

Bearing in mind that Emmaus was no more than just 7 miles from Jerusalem and that when they arrived at Emmaus it was "toward evening," but not evening, we can conclude that by the time they arrived at Jerusalem it was already evening, "the evening of the first day of the week." What happened at that evening is given in verses 33-36:

Luke 24:33-36, "And they [the two disciples that had just arrived at Emmaus] rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together, and them that were with them, Saying, The Lord is risen indeed, and hath appeared to Simon. And they told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them in breaking of bread. And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you."

Since this appearance happened at the evening of the first day of the week, it is therefore the same with the one that John speaks about. Thus, the events described by John and Luke are not only similar but also identical. However, while John tells us that Thomas was not there, without telling us who was there, Luke adds to our knowledge that present at this appearance were "the eleven...and them that were with them." Many people read this passage and think that the reason the text speaks of eleven was because Judas was already dead, as tradition teaches. However, the record of John shows very clearly that the disciple that was absent in this appearance was not Judas, but Thomas. In turn, this means that Judas was present at this appearance and saw the resurrected Jesus. This also confirms the record of I Corinthians 15 according to which Judas was alive after the resurrection.

The Witness of Mark

The witness of Mark to the post-resurrection appearance that occurred "at the evening of the first day of the week" confirms the conclusions drawn from the combined examination of John and Luke.

Mark 16:9-13, "Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils. And she went and told them that had been with him, as they mourned and wept. And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and had been seen of her, believed not. After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country. And they went and told it unto the residue: neither believed they them."

These "two of them" are the two disciples that were on their way to Emmaus. The phrase "in another form" shows the variability of the resurrected body of Jesus.

Mark 16:14, "Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen."

This record that again refers to the appearance at the evening of the first day of the week speaks again for the eleven. Knowing that the absent one was Thomas, it is clear that Judas was there. (Though the verse does not specifically state that it was the evening of the first day of the week, an examination of the appearance shows that it was the first that was made to the group of the eleven. Since according to the other gospel records the first appearance happened at the evening of the first day of the week it is easy to infer that it is the same with the one described by John and Luke).

From all the above it is clear that Judas was alive and saw the resurrected Jesus. It is therefore not strange that I Corinthians speaks for an appearance to the twelve. Even if I Corinthians 15 didn't say anything about an appearance to the twelve, an examination of the gospel records could very easily prove that Judas was still alive after the resurrection.

The Appearance to the Twelve

After all this, the reader may ask, "Where does the appearance to the twelve appear in scripture?" The appearance to the twelve is also described in one of the gospels, namely in John's gospel.

John 20:24, "But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came."
This "them" refers to the disciples that were present at the appearance that happened at the evening of the first day of the week [John 20:19] and which Thomas missed. According to the other gospel records, we know that, except for Thomas, all the other eleven disciples were there.

John 20:25-26, "The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe. And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you."

Who were the disciples that were present at this appearance? They were the eleven plus Thomas (i.e. "the twelve"). Evidently, it is this appearance that the Word of God speaks about in I Corinthians 15:3-5.

Having confirmed from the above the appearance to the twelve and that Judas was there when it happened, we will continue with the examination of the misunderstood passage which is responsible for the tradition that supports the idea that Judas died before the crucifixion.

Matthew 27:3-5

The passage that is traditionally used to support that the death of Judas happened before the crucifixion is in Matthew 27 where, starting from verse 1, we read:

Matthew 27:1-8,11, "When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death: And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor. Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself. And the chief priests took the silver pieces, and said, It is not lawful for to put them into the treasury, because it is the price of blood. And they took counsel, and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in. Wherefore that field was called, The field of blood, unto this day. And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest."

Far too often we read this passage with the preconceived idea that the link that connects the above events is time (i.e. we assume that this happened first, then this happened second, third, etc.). However, a time link is only one of the many ways by which we can connect various events. In fact, it is very usual when we describe something very important, instead of making continuous references to other events of minor importance, to describe them by opening brief parentheses. By this way we avoid the continuous detraction of the attention from what we consider as the most important person or event of the story. This is exactly what happens in our passage as well. The great topic of Matthew 27 is not Judas and his story but Jesus Christ and his passion. This is what the Word of God wants to point out and it is this description that is made in a time sequence.

Consequently, apart from the story of the man on whom the Word of God focus's (i.e. Jesus Christ), the stories of other people or events have necessarily to be restricted to brief parentheses. That is exactly what happens with Judas. Verses 1 and 2 tells us that Jesus was delivered to the governor. Then verse 3 opens a parenthesis to tell us what happened to Judas. This parenthesis continues up to verse 5. Thus we learn that Judas when he saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver. Because the chief priests and the elders didn't accept them, he threw them down and he left. Finally he committed suicide. Though these events are described in a time sequence relative to what happened to Judas [i.e. first he regretted, then he returned the silver pieces and then he committed suicide], they are not described in a time sequence relative to what happened to Jesus. They are a parenthesis that explains what happened to Judas; we are not told when it happened but what happened.

As a matter of fact, Many people believe verse 3 happened right after verse 2. Verse 3 says Judas did these things "when he saw that he was condemned." But Jesus was not condemned until verse 26! Thus proving that verse 3 could not possibly have happened right after verse 2, in sequence, but much later, after the trial.

This is more evident from verses 6-10, which consist of another parenthesis that tells us what happened to the thirty pieces of silver. Thus, we are told that the chief priests took these thirty pieces and after they consulted together, they bought with them the potter's field. Evidently, to end up buying the field, it means that after they consulted together, they went to the market, they found someone willing to sell a field, they visited the field to see if it was the one that they wanted, they reached a decision whether they will buy it or not, they agreed on the price and finally they made the relative contracts. Those that have any idea of the time that it is usually needed to only find the appropriate land know that this requires several days, weeks and sometimes months. If we were to read this parenthetical passage as many of us read the one that precede it about Judas (i.e. by taking everything in a time sequence), then we would conclude that while Jesus was before the governor (verses 1-2) Judas returned the money and hanged himself, the priests took the money, consulted together, found someone that was selling a field, saw the field, reached an agreement about it and made the contracts. All these are simply impossible to happen when Jesus was standing before the governor and in fact without any progress in his investigation (in verse 11, after the close of the parenthesis, the investigation of Jesus is exactly at the same stage as in verse 2, i.e. Jesus is standing before the governor). Moreover, an interpretation like this would contradict all that we have seen from the other gospels and from I Corinthians that tell us Judas was alive after the resurrection.

The great topic that the Word of God describes in Matthew 27 is Jesus Christ and his passion. Thus, it has to discuss other things in brief parentheses. Verses 1-2 tells us that Jesus was brought to the governor. Then, verses 3-5 open a parenthesis where we learn very briefly what happened to Judas. We are not told when Judas committed suicide but what he did. Then a new parenthesis is opened in verse 6 that continues till verse 10 where it is describes again, very briefly, what happened to the thirty pieces of silver. Again the topic is not when these happened but what happened. Then verse 11 takes us back to the point where verse 2 left off (i.e. to the investigation of Jesus by Pilate). The parenthetical character of verses 3-10 and the fact that what is described there is not given in a time sequence relative to the great topic of the chapter (the passion of Jesus), is evident by just reading the passage without verses 3-10:

Matthew 27:1-2,11, "When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death: And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor...And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest."

As it is obvious, the omission of verses 3-10 does not cause any lack in our understanding of the great topic of the passage, and exactly this was the purpose of God when He put these verses as a parenthesis.

To conclude, therefore, the record of Matthew does not specify when Judas hanged himself but what he did. To learn when he did it, we need to consult the other records as well, to see what they say. With the evidence that we have collected so far we know that Judas saw the resurrected Christ and in fact we know that he was alive at least eight days (John 20:26) after the first appearance to the eleven. On the other hand, Peter in a speech given sometime between the ascension and the day of Pentecost (Acts 1:15-22) said that Judas was dead. This means that sometime between eight days after the resurrection and the day that Peter spoke, Judas hanged himself. This space can be narrowed down by taking into account what is said in Acts 1.

Acts 1
More evidence that will help us to determine better when Judas died is given in the first chapter of Acts.

Acts 1:1-2, "The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach, Until the day in which he was taken up, after that he through the Holy Ghost had given commandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen:"

The crucial question that has to be asked before we go any further is who were the apostles "whom he had chosen"? The relative list can be found in the gospel records one of which (Luke 6:13) was also given previously and for ease of reference it is also repeated below:

Luke 6:13-16, "And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles; Simon, (whom he also named Peter) and Andrew his brother, James and John, Philip and Bartholomew, Matthew and Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called Zelotes, And Judas the brother of James, and Judas Iscariot, which also was the traitor."

The apostles therefore that Jesus had chosen and to whom Acts 1:2 refers are the well known twelve apostles that included Judas. Bearing this in mind we can continue the reading of the passage:

Acts 1:1-10, "The former treatise have I made, O Theophilus, of all that Jesus began both to do and teach, Until the day in which he was taken up, after that he through the Holy Ghost had given commandments unto the apostles whom he had chosen: To whom also he shewed himself alive after his passion by many infallible proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God: And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me. For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence. When they therefore were come together, they asked of him, saying, Lord, wilt thou at this time restore again the kingdom to Israel? And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power. But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight. And while they looked stedfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel;"

All these "whom", "them" and "they" refer to the apostles that Jesus had chosen and therefore, according to Luke 6:13, included Judas. Thus, since there is no other indication to the contrary, by following the record we can say that Judas should have been there, when the ascension happened. However, it is interesting that verses 10 and 11 of the same chapter tells us that "two men stood by them in white apparel, who also said, Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven?...." From the apostles that Jesus had chosen, only Judas was not a Galilean. This indicates that Judas was not present when the angels spoke. On the other hand, there is no indication that he was absent from the ascension. Therefore, the conclusion that one could draw is that Judas saw the ascension and then he left before the angels spoke. Sometime between this time and the time that Peter spoke is when Judas committed suicide. That this happened after the ascension is also indicated by the fact that had Judas committed suicide earlier, Jesus would have substituted him. Otherwise, it would be strange for Peter to do something that Jesus didn't think as appropriate to do. However, because he committed suicide sometime after the ascension and Jesus wasn't there any longer to make the substitution, Peter resumed this responsibility.

Having clarified all the above we can give a brief conclusion to the first part of this study. The conclusion is that Judas died sometime between the ascension and the day that Peter spoke, which was earlier than the day of Pentecost. After he saw that Jesus was condemned, he repented and returned to the group of the other disciples. We don't know when exactly this happened but we do know that he was with them "at the evening of the first day of the week" (i.e. shortly after the resurrection). As a result of his repentance, Judas was forgiven and he was accepted back. Indeed, there is no indication that Jesus treated him differently from the others. However, though Judas was forgiven, he didn't forgive himself but permitted the condemnation to take over his mind and finally to destroy him.

What's the Difference if Judas died Before or After the Crucifixion?

For those that will ask this question, it has to be said that we didn't simply try to find the exact time at which Judas died. This alone might have minor significance if we didn't have problems with the accuracy of the Word of God. Surely, we would have no problem if Judas died before the crucifixion if the Word told us so. In contrast, I would have many problems if in one place the Word, as tradition thinks, tells me that he is dead before the crucifixion, and in another I'm told that he is alive after the resurrection. Then, the examination is no longer a simple examination of the time that Judas died but an examination of the accuracy of the Word of God. The time therefore that Judas died does make a difference, and in fact a very big difference: the difference between an unerring Word of God, as indeed the scripture is, and a word that has errors as tradition makes the scripture to look like.

Part Two: Is Judas in Heaven or Hell?

For the last 1900 years, many Christians have placed Judas in a special category of evil. To sell Jesus into the hands of Israel's Priesthood is a sin most Christians feel they would not be capable of doing. Most Christians seem to categorize sins. In doing so, it allows them to separate themselves from the worst of sinners like Judas. The Bible says the wages of sin is death and all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

The purpose of this article is to raise Judas up from the false representation he has received from the self-righteous Christian and to bring down our self-righteousness to where we can look at the Judases of the world in the eye and be able to say, "I am the guilty one. I put Jesus on the tree of crucifixion. He died for my sins."

It seems the world is obsessed these days to put the blame for the problems of the world on someone, any one except themselves. It is time to stop. We are all guilty. We have given ourselves a pardon, but we have not pardoned the world. We therefore, have put ourselves in an exalted position which has produced devastating results. We must be humbled. The purpose of this article is to bring us down to a place where we might be of benefit to the world. Our self-righteousness and pride has made us almost useless in changing the world for the good. If the world is getting darker, it is because our light is going out. May this article put a spark back into our Christian witness.

Facts about the History and Geographical Location of Judas

Judas is the Greek form of the Hebrew Judah, which means praise. Iscariot means "man from Kerioth," a city in the Negev of the region in Jesus' day which was called Judea. Judas was the only one of the twelve apostles, the scriptures record, not coming from Galilee. Galileans were looked down upon by Judeans.

Judea is where most of the priests lived since all the sacrifices had to be performed in Jerusalem.
The 30 pieces of silver was a small sum of money, the value of a slave (Exodus 21:32). ($15 according to the American Tract Society Dictionary). If Judas were really covetous and greedy, why didn't he barter for much more?
Jesus chose Judas, not the other way around.Jesus knew them before He picked them.

Prior to the betrayal, Judas' only recorded sin was stealing from the money box. The other eleven apostles had accounts recorded of them of sins which included unbelief, lust for position and power, not being mindful of the things of the spirit but of man, all the disciples left Him, Peter denied Him three times in one night, falsely condemning people to fire when Jesus said He came to save, etc., etc..

Judas threw the 30 pieces of silver on the ground in the "naos" (Holy Place) part of the temple (Matthew 27:5). Only a priest could enter that part of the temple. Even Jesus could only enter the courtyard because he was not from the tribe of Levi. This fact is very important.
Judas repented and made restitution (Matthew 27:3) then declared Jesus innocent and confessed his sin (Matthew 27:4).

Let us begin to weave all these pieces together and see if we can see some things we have never thought about before. Perhaps we can get a glimpse of the wisdom of our Father which will leave us amazed and a little more humbled.

In reading about Jesus in the New Testament, we must always keep in mind that He came to "fulfill the law." First, He fulfilled it by adding the Spirit back to it which the religious leaders had removed by their "letter keeping."

The next aspect of "fulfilling the law" dealt with eliminating laws added to Moses' law which had nothing to do with Moses. The Jews added thousands of laws which were impossible to remember or keep. Some of the laws added actually made it possible to break Moses law' for self gain. For example, when making an agreement, one had to face Jerusalem and say twice "Amen, Amen." If one said "Amen" only once, the agreement was not lawful and therefore could be broken. Knowing the "Law" at this point in Israel's history actually became profitable. Many foreign people were swindled by these kinds of acts. The modern church has copied those swindlers, and has actually exceeded many of the "lawful" schemes perpetrated in Jesus' day by "religious people." The widow, orphan, and poor were greatly oppressed by the religious leaders. Today, the use of the unlawful "tithe" is an example of the greed of religious men and women who use this money to build their own kingdoms.

The third way Jesus dealt with the Mosaic Law was to fulfill every type and shadow contained in all the sacrificial ceremonies. Many people were predestined to participate with Jesus in His fulfillment of these ceremonies. One of the leading participants in fulfilling these ceremonies and Scriptures was Judas. These laws can be seen on at least three levels.

-The actual performance of them by Israel.
-Seeing how Jesus would physically perform and fulfill them in the flesh.
-Seeing the spiritual reality behind it all.

As we begin to gather all these pieces together, keep in mind that Judas was predestined just as Jesus being born at this time was predestined. Jesus chose Judas knowing his purpose; that prior to Satan entering Judas, his sins were really not much different than the other apostles. Be very careful in how you judge Judas for as you judge, perhaps, so shall you be judged.

Inspecting the Lamb

As early as the Book of Genesis, there are references to proper sacrifices. All of these Old Testament sacrifices obviously pointed to the reality of Jesus Christ. I believe every sacrificial type and shadow will find it's reality wrapped up in Jesus Christ and His Body. This article will not deal with all of the types. We are concerned with the role Judas played and so we will have to stay focused as much as possible on Judas' role in prophesy being fulfilled.

Jesus was crucified in the Passover season. Did you know that a young goat was just as acceptable as a lamb? (2 Chronicles 35:7, Leviticus 22:19, Exodus 12:5). Somehow, due to our false teachings of the separation of the sheep and goats (derived from the parable in Matthew 25:31-34, 41), we have pictured the goat as an unclean animal. This is not so, at least according to Scripture. Many of our perceptions of the Creator and His Plan come from our religious traditions and not from the Scriptures.

In the original Passover, the lamb (or goat) was selected on the 10th day of the month of Abib (Deuteronomy 16:1) . This month was to be their first month since that was the month they were delivered from Pharaoh (Exodus 13:3-4). This lamb or goat was kept for 4 days and inspected to make sure it was spotless and without blemish. In subsequent Passovers, the Priest had to inspect the lamb or kid to make sure it was without blemish.

Most of you know all the ceremonies of Israel were types and shadows which were to point to realities which would come later on. While most Christians are very unskilled in dealing with the Old Testament, they have received enough to know that Jesus Christ was the true Passover Lamb pointed to by the first Passover in Egypt and its commemorative Passovers which were to be kept each year by Israel.

The Passover lamb or goat pointed to the true Sacrificial Goat, Jesus Christ. Did you just get a little flustered? Yes, the goat represents Jesus just as much as the cute little dumb lamb. Remember, on the Day of Atonement, two goats were selected; one to be killed and the other to be set free (Leviticus 16:7). These also pointed to the work of Christ. This animal had to be inspected by the Priests. Jesus had to be inspected by the Priests! The problem was that the Priests of the temple declared Jesus guilty of blasphemy which was punishable by death! How could Jesus be the innocent lamb or goats if they declared Him blemished with sin?

Orthodox Christianity puts it in the hands of the true secular authority of Israel which was Pontius Pilate. He asked Jesus a number of questions and after doing so found that Jesus was not guilty of anything worthy of the death penalty (Matthew 27). He washed his hands of the whole affair and said he found no fault with Jesus and wanted to set him free. The people, prodded on by the priests, wanted Him to be crucified. Pontius Pilate made another attempt to free Jesus by using a tradition Romans used on special occasions. On certain important days they would release a prisoner as a sign of mercy or good will. Pontius Pilate gave Israel a choice of freeing Jesus, who claimed to be the Son of God, or Barabbas. Some ancient manuscripts called him Jesus Barabbas. Barabbas, in Greek, means "Son of a Father or Master." Abba, in Aramaic, means father. So the choice presented to Israel was a very interesting choice. Which do you want freed...Jesus (which means God's deliverance) or Barabbas (son of a Father or Master). This is the scapegoat offering.

The people picked Jesus to be sacrificed and Barabbas to escape into the wilderness of humanity. At this point, Pilate ceremoniously washed his hands of the whole thing and turned the whole thing over to the Jews. He said "Ye see to it" (Matthew 27:24). The people answered and said, "His blood be on us and on our children" (verse 25).

Now dear reader, I want you to think through very carefully what we are about to discuss. It is vitally important for our witness and our ability to demonstrate the love of Christ. It is also vitally important to understand in order to rightly divide the Word. Honestly, in your heart, between Peter and Judas, who do you identify with most? For whom do you find more love, Peter or Judas? What about those Jews who yelled, "Crucify, crucify, let His blood be on our heads." Do you identify with them or despise them?

James 1:23-24, "For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was."

We probably need to come to the place of the true realization that you and I are the Christ killers. If there were no Jews, our sins would still have put Jesus on the Tree of Crucifixion.

What I am trying to say is that we, as bondservants of Christ, have no business looking down upon any man, race, or nation. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There is none righteous, nay, not one, including Judas, you, or myself. It is time for us to be able to look everyone right in the eyes, not looking down or up to anyone. When we humble ourselves, then He will allow us to see things in the Scriptures we have never seen before. His Holy Spirit will remove the veil over our eyes and we will behold wondrous things.

Regarding John 17:12, "While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled."

The above scripture simply means that None of them is lost, but the son of perdition—It is not implied here that the son of perdition was one of those whom the Father had given to the Son, but rather the contrary (John 13:18). It is just as in Luke 4:26, 27, where we are not to suppose that the woman of Sarepta (in Sidon) was one of the widows of Israel, nor Naaman the Syrian one of the lepers in Israel, though the language—the same as here—might seem to express it.

The son of perdition means the one who is doomed to it.(2Th 2:3; Mr 14:21).

Conclusion

Jesus came to fulfill the Law. I believe we are just beginning to understand what that is all about. I know I left many things out; there is just too much to cover. I just hope I have at least brought you to the place where you can look Judas eye to eye instead of down on him. If I have failed to do that, I hope I have cracked a few doors which at least will keep you from making a final judgment of Judas. I am trying to do this not so much for Judas' sake, but for your sake.

To summarize, be careful where you place Judas. He did the will of the Father and fulfilled the Scriptures. Peter, who we all love, tried to prevent Jesus' crucifixion and was called "Satan" by our Lord. Peter, who was not mindful of the will of God, was restored. Was it not Jesus who said, ""For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother" (Matthew 12:50)? Be careful about placing Jesus' brother, Judas, in Christendom's "hell." One day you may have to look up to Judas, instead of looking down on him. Peter denied him three times in one night while Judas declared Jesus innocent in front of the High Priesthood. Judas had a very important job in the Kingdom of God. For three and one half years, as a Priest he inspected the Lamb of God as an unbiased man. He was not "one of them" a Galilean. He was the outsider. He did his job perfectly. If Judas really wanted to mess things up, he could have agreed with the High Priesthood and called Him a "blasphemer" who claimed to be the Son of God when He really wasn't. But Judas declared the Lamb spotless and unblemished, the Perfect Passover.

I hope these words have you stirring. I hope they have rekindled a desire to study the Scriptures more. Most importantly, may these words cause you to give more freely what our Father has so freely bestowed upon you. . . mercy. Is there more room in your heart for mercy for yourself? If there is, then there is also more room for you to have mercy on others, especially those vessels of less honor in our eyes. Lift up the Judases of the world to our wonderful Father who freely forgives, Who bestows mercy upon the undeserving.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

How To Always Be Yourself

To be yourself, don’t worry about yourself. It’s only when you analyze how you come across to others and what others are thinking about you that behavior modification seems appealing. When you look at others with yourself in mind, it’s like using them as a mirror you try to see yourself through their eyes and adjust the image accordingly.

We have so many unconscious beliefs that we have taken on over the years that were probably handed down to us from somebody else, and that we believed to be who we are. Becoming more aware of the quality of your thoughts, letting go of the old beliefs, and becoming more present can help in revealing your true nature.

The common thing a lot of people do is copy others' actions because it seems like the better route to fit in, but really, shouldn't you stand out? Standing out is very hard, yes, but you need to try avoid assuming other people's perspectives of you, even if it's not something you would normally do; that's what being yourself is all about.

When you’re by yourself, however, there’s nobody around to impress; no one to analyze. It’s just you, and because of that, you don’t focus on yourself, but on what you’re doing. It’s the answer to how to be yourself all the time. Shut down your inner clamoring for approval and focus on being present in the external world. You’ll have a lot more fun.

When you act like yourself compared to managing your image, some people will like you more and some will like you less, and that’s the way it should be. People pleasers are often the ones who aren’t themselves, because they want to be liked by everyone, even though that is impossible with nearly 7 billion unique personalities and value systems. Be yourself and the people who naturally like your personality, will really like you for being genuine, and that’s worth it.

Get to know yourself. Take time to reflect on your values and how you really want to live. Learn to appreciate who you are now – faults and merits – and others will too.

Celebrate your individuality, express yourself positively, and be happy with you!. Always be yourself. Don’t suppress yourself. If you are hanging around critical people, it’s time to find some new people. Be proud of who you are. Don’t lose “you.”




Monday, March 3, 2014

Fear of Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, creativity, laughter and joy. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness.

Why, then, would someone be afraid of intimacy?

It is not actually the intimacy itself that people fear. If people could be guaranteed that intimacy would continue to be a positive experience, they would have no fear of it. What they fear is the possibility of getting hurt as a result of being intimate with another.

The Two Fears Underlying the Fear of Intimacy

Many people have two major fears that may cause them to avoid intimacy: the fear of rejection - of losing the other person, and the fear of engulfment - of being invaded, controlled, and losing oneself.

Because many of us have learned to react to conflict with various controlling behaviors - from anger and blame to compliance, withdrawal, and resistance - every relationship presents us with these issues of rejection and engulfment. If one person gets angry, the other may feel rejected or controlled and get angry back, give themselves up, withdraw or resist. If one person shuts down, the other may feel rejected and become judgmental, which may trigger the other's fears of engulfment, and so on. These protective circles exist in one form or another in most relationships. When the fears of rejection and engulfment become too great, a person may decide that it is just too painful to be in a relationship, and they avoid intimacy altogether.

Yet avoiding relationships leads to loneliness and lack of emotional and spiritual growth. Relationships offer us the most powerful arena for personal growth, if we accept this challenge. So what moves us beyond the fear of intimacy?

Healing the Fear of Intimacy

The fear exists, not because of the experience itself, but because you don't know how to handle the situations of being rejected or controlled. The secret of moving beyond the fear of intimacy lies in developing a powerful loving adult part of you that learns how to not take rejection personally, and learns to set appropriate limits against engulfment.

When you learn how to take personal responsibility for defining your own worth, instead of making others' love and approval responsible for your feelings of worth, you will no longer take rejection personally. This does not mean that you will ever like rejection - it means you will no longer be afraid of it or have a need to avoid it.

When you learn how to speak up for yourself and not allow others to invade, smother, dominate and control you, you will no longer fear losing yourself in a relationship. Many people, terrified of losing the other person, will give themselves up in the hope of controlling how the other person feels about them. They believe that if they comply with another's demands, the other will love them. Yet losing oneself is terrifying, so many people stay out of relationships due to this fear. If they were to learn to define their own worth and stand up for themselves, the fear would disappear.

The Inner Bonding process is designed to create a powerful inner adult self, capable of not taking rejection personally and of setting limits against loss of self. Anyone can learn this six-step process and, with practice, heal fears of intimacy. Through practicing the Inner Bonding process, you learn to value and cherish who you really are, and take full responsibility for your own feelings of worth, lovability, safety, security, pain and joy. When you deeply value yourself, you do not take rejection personally and you become non-reactive to rejection. When you value yourself, you will not give yourself up to try to control another's feelings about you. When you value yourself, you are willing to lose another rather than lose yourself.

How to Have a Relationship With Someone Afraid of Intimacy & Commitment

Couples counselors and psychologists agree, a fear of intimacy is one of the most common relationship problems. Dating someone with a fear of intimacy can make you feel as though you're in a state of constant rejection. It can be painful to love someone who reacts defensively to being shown love, particularly someone too guarded to open up about fears.

Identify the Source
The key to overcoming a fear of intimacy, whether your own or your partner's, is to find out and understand where this fear is coming from. Paradoxically, most people who fear emotional intimacy are really afraid of rejection. Individuals may feel unworthy in some capacity, believing that if they let their guards down, they are open to rejection. Often learned in childhood, avoiding intimacy is a defensive strategy that centers on the principle that if you reject people first, they can't reject you. In many cases, people who fear intimacy have a history of traumatic relationships, either with an absent or unreliable parent or an early heartbreak. As a result, these individuals become wary of expressions of love.

Avoid Triggers
Since every relationship is different, it is important to look at the dynamics of your own relationship and identify patterns that seem to trigger a fear of intimacy or commitment. In identifying these patterns, you should also consider your own behavior. Many people, in response to a fear of intimacy, will seek affection more desperately, appearing clingy and needy to their partners. Alternatively, some become angry and resentful, lashing out at their partners.

Be Open With Each Other
Though it may be difficult, talking about these patterns with your partner, without accusing or expecting instant change, is an important step in de-constructing the walls that have been built up. Engaging in exploratory discussions provides opportunities for opening up and can give both people in the relationship greater insight into particular behaviors as well as understanding and compassion.

Get Professional Help
Sometimes the hardest people to open up to are those who are closest to you. If the two of you truly value the relationship and are still facing difficulty with commitment issues, you may consider seeing a relationship counselor together. This will help with mediating as well as opening up and facing underlying issues head-on with the insight of an unbiased professional.