In my view, when a woman (or girl) is in a position to even consider abortion, it's because NONE of the options are good options. I think some of the statistics about later health and psychological effects of abortion have been misrepresented by both sides but it is VERY important that a woman facing an unwanted pregnancy be counseled by someone who does not have a bias or stake in the decision. Of course that is almost impossible to find...it seems to be a very polarized issue. Any medical procedure requires a thorough and accurate assessment of the risks AND benefits of the procedure be given to the person considering it. (It's called "informed consent")
I believe it wasn't the abortion itself - or the "sin" of abortion - that caused any mother's mental anguish, but the conflict between what she felt was a necessary life decision at the time and the politico-religious climate that punished and ostracized her for doing so.
Adoption is also problematic. I know birth mothers who have placed a child for adoption; often the grief is as intense as that experienced by women having abortions. In addition, pregnancy and childbirth are not risk-free so the age and other risk factors of the mother need to be considered as well. On the child's side, Many adopted kids do have issues with attachment/abandoment, even those given up at birth. However, I don't think there are very many (except maybe the most troubled ones in foster care ) who actually wish their birth mother had aborted them.
There are other factors, as well. We always think of abortions as happening to teenagers, single women, or women who were raped. In fact MANY abortions are had by married women who are in their late 30s/early 40s who already have kids, who didn't think they could get pregnant and for whom carrying a pregnancy to term could be very risky. I have met women who are faced with a choice that might put their health (or even life) at risk when they already have children whose lives would be devastated by losing their mother. I know of a lady who had a baby and almost died of eclampsia. The risk of that happening again is quite high. She was married and on the pill and when her child was 2 she conceived and she was forced to make a very agonizing decision. Put her life at risk and potentially leave her 2 year old motherless? Or have an abortion. She did not want to do either. She finally decided on the abortion and then went on to consider other options to avoid pregnancy (including permanent sterilization which is a very hard decision to make as well).
Other factors include the fact that a woman has a much higher risk of domestic violence when she is pregnant (and sometimes that is fatal as well).
And all of that without even addressing the issue of rape.
I really believe that in the case of rape, the decision is even more loaded and that is a case where I really think a lot of compassion and grace are needed to help a woman make that decision. I personally have never been able to really fathom how I could carry a child to term knowing that that child will always connect me with a man who raped me. On the other hand, I could imagine that God could give me the strength to do so and use such a trial to God's glory.
In general, I think abortion should be rare and I think it is always wrong. However, it might be, in some cases, "less wrong" (if that's possible) or at least "equally wrong" as other choices.
I believe There are cases where the woman/girl should make the choice concerning abortion and that's when The Mother's health (Physically or mentally or emotionally) is in danger.
I'm not on the side of the "pro choice" folks who oppose any restrictions on abortion and who ALSO oppose any counseling or services that might influence a woman to not have an abortion. However, I am also not in favor of making it illegal. When abortions were illegal, they still happened but they were very unsafe and many women died. Abortion needs to be an option for a woman who is raped and may experience such severe psychological trauma that she puts her baby at risk (a whole OTHER topic on the effects of severe anxiety and depression on unborn babies) and it also needs to be an option for women whose lives may be threatened by carrying a pregnancy to term. There are situations which are sufficiently tragic that a woman should not be forced to do so even if it is the experience of others that they have felt blessed by doing so. The thing that makes it dfferent from euthanasia is that the baby is residing in the body of another person whose life is also affected by the baby's presence there.
I am pro-life but I have seen so many different situations that point out the fact that a pro-life stance is NOT always a simple "yes or no" decision to make. It requires a lot of counseling, care, and ideally lots of PRAYER.
