One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control, and when God, through His grace and Holy Spirit, produces this quality of self-control in our lives, we will find ourselves doing much better in most any area or areas where we lack self-control. Self-control is not something we can just decide to start having. It's going to take grace coupled with the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit to achieve lasting victory.
We need to understand that nothing outside of us can force us to sin. While it is true that we can be buffeted by strong external temptations, the giving in to temptation always begins in the mind. Christian self-discipline must first begin with a discipline of the heart and mind. Satan and the fruit did not force Eve to commit sin. She first lusted after it; made excuses for it and then consented to it in her mind. The gold and beautiful clothing did not force Achan to commit sin. He dwelt upon it, lusted after it, made reasoning for it and then made a commitment to take it in his mind. Even the beautiful Bathsheba did not force David to sin. She was minding her own business, taking a bath. But, David stood there and stared and committed himself to an evil act. A bottle of liquor never flew off the shelf and poured itself down a man’s throat.
There are a number of things that we need to do regarding our weak areas. We must carefully and honestly identify our own specific problem areas. Some people have a problem controlling their anger. Others may be tempted to drink an excess of alcoholic beverages. Many men have a particular problem with the lust of the eyes and temptations relating to sexual matters. Some professing Christians are drawn to the pride of life and an obsession with wealth and material things. Others have a tendency to be lazy and irresponsible. It is very important that we honestly evaluate ourselves in light of the Scriptures because self-induced ignorance and self-deception is a result of pride. And pride goes before a fall (Pr. 16:18). We must be humble, admit our deficiencies and fight against them biblically.
While we ask God to give us grace for victory, He will be faithful and remind us when we are becoming a little lazy, careless or undisciplined. Someone may be wondering, however, what you should do if you do fail and yield to the initial stages of temptation. Our response to failure is important in bringing eventual success. When we fail, we do need to take enough time to acknowledge to God, (and some-times to others if another person was involved) our confession and expressions of apology for our failures. But we need to be careful we do not mill over our failures. We need to practice confessing and forgetting our mistakes, because if we find ourselves rehearsing our sins, failures and faults over and over in our minds it actually will strengthen their presence in our minds and life. They become so much a part of our conscious thought life that we become more prone to reenact them. We need to learn, in a sense, to confess and then ignore them as much as possible.
Jesus said that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness will in time be satisfied with the righteousness they are desiring. Just admitting we have a struggle shows we have somewhat of a desire to want to do better, but sometimes the temptation or problem is so deeply rooted in our flesh that we have a real struggle with wanting to admit it, much less wanting to get rid of it.
Grace can help us change our motives and desires. So if you have a struggle that in the flesh you're not even sure you want to admit, then tell the Lord about it and be honest with God. Tell Him you want to do better by His grace, and if need be ask Him to help you want to change your desires and your motives. He will in time! I do want to emphasize this point "in time". We Christians are so used to wanting instant healing, instant this or that, and it is true that God sometimes works this way, but in general, there is a process involved in change. Many Christians give up with the concept of grace because they don't give God time to work. They start taking matters into their own hands and eventually fail in their human efforts or they end up looking right on the outside, but fail to have inward transformation. So give God's grace time to work and make the changes you are desiring.
We need to imitate the love of Christ. Our Lord lived for others, not for Himself. He came to serve, not to be served. He went about His whole life doing good while expecting nothing in return. Therefore, love and benevolence ought to permeate everything we do. Our speech must be seasoned with salt and tempered by love. Our witnessing to hateful pagans must be mixed with kindness, concern and compassion. Our treatment of erring brothers must be merciful and forbearing. We must cheerfully visit orphans and widows and place others above ourselves. We must cast aside our sinful tendency to be self-centered. We must live for the good of the church not ourselves. Our love and Christian benevolence must beam out to all men.
We need to become a member of and active in a solidly Reformed local church. A Christian is not an island. Christ set up the church for our benefit. He ordained that the means of grace such as preaching and the sacraments would be found only in the institutional church (Mt. 28:19-20; Eph. 4:11ff.). As we serve Christ in the context of the local church we are not only sanctified by the preaching and the Lord’s supper, we are spiritual sharpened by being in a community of serious Christians where we have godly companions, biblical counsel, sanctified advice and opportunity for ministry. Further, if we do fall, we have brothers who will lift us up and pray for us. If we have serious sin problems we have the discipline of the church to help us repent and serve Christ as we ought. It is for all these reasons and even more that the author of Hebrews says, “Obey those who rule over you and be submissive, for they watch over your souls, as those who must give account” (Heb. 13:17); and “let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling or ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching” (Heb. 10:25).
As members of a local church we should become active in some area of kingdom service (e.g., witnessing, helping with a Christian cable access program, assisting the elderly and widows, passing out tracts, organizing fellowship meals, etc). If we are very active in the edification of our families and in doing good works, then we will be too busy doing good to engage in sinful activities.
God calls every Christian to a life of holiness. The only way that believers can make progress in godliness is through Christian discipline. We must, therefore, use all the means that God has given us to train or discipline ourselves to be godly. We must learn the Holy Scriptures and apply them to our daily lives. We must continually look to Christ “the author and finisher of our faith” and have faith in the efficacy of His life, death and resurrection. We must regard ourselves as dead to sin and alive unto God. We must live in dependence on the Holy Spirit’s enabling, sustaining and preserving power. While the Christian life is a continual battle and our responsibilities are many, we can take comfort in the person and work of Christ. His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Mt. 11:30). His intercession for us continues and it cannot fail (Heb. 7:25). “Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to preserve you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.” (Jude 24-25).
