It seems that today, perfectionism is instilled in us at an earlier and earlier age. The pressure to succeed in all that we do – to perform well at sports, to make good grades, to get into the best college, to succeed at our jobs, to care for our aging parents or our busy children – All of these pressures attempt to mold us into perfect human beings – perfect children, perfect parents, perfect students, perfect athletes, perfect employers or employees. And the glossy magazines only make it worse. We’re also supposed to conform to those models with perfect skin, hair, clothes, and bodies. And when we don’t succeed, when we don’t reach that mark. We condemn ourselves to our rooms, or punish ourselves with self-degradation, with low self-esteem, bad body images, or with guilt that gnaws at our very beings, that gnaws away at our hearts. More than once, I have been driven to tears from having been less than perfect. It’s isolating and harmful for both ourselves and our relationships with one another and, I would argue, with God. It’s a competitive spirit that focuses only on oneself. Tough words by which to live our lives.
So How do we reconcile Jesus’ command for perfection with our own broken, sinful, and extremely imperfect nature?. There are two important things to note about this and the way it addresses perfectionism. The first is the second half of Jesus’ command. “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” As your heavenly Father is perfect.
When I read the Bible, I am consistently asking myself about what I learn about God. And mostly, I what I learn is that God is perfect in grace, mercy, and love. So when we read, in this passage, that we are to be perfect as God is perfect, and we substitute what we know about God’s nature, we can come to the conclusion that being perfect has something to do with love…and not necessarily with being flawless. And then, if you dig a little deeper and look at those commands that lead up to this final one, you’ll notice that they’re all about loving and caring for and living with one another, even our enemies. If we are to be like God, then we are to love one another.
The second thing we need to take a look at in this passage is that word “perfect.” In day-to-day conversation, it of course means flawless and without error, but Jesus uses it in a slightly different way. When Jesus says, “Be perfect,” Jesus doesn’t mean be flawless. He doesn’t even mean obey each and every one of those legalistic commandments. When Jesus says, “Be perfect,” he means be complete, mature, whole, and with a sense of purpose.
Being perfect, here, doesn’t mean living without error; it means living your life the way God intended you to live it; living your life in love toward God and toward one another, the way God intended you to live, just as God loves and lives toward you.
To strive to be perfect in God’s eyes doesn’t mean worrying about making a mistake, It doesn’t mean condemning ourselves to our rooms, or punishing ourselves with self-degradation and low self-esteem. It does mean, though, extending our hearts, our minds, our arms, and our whole lives in love toward one another. Because that’s what God did and does for us on the cross. We are beloved children of God simply because it is God’s nature to love us. And God is perfect in love.
But aren’t there things that get in the way of living as God intends us to live? Of loving each another the way God wants us to? Of living perfectly, as our heavenly Father is perfect? The answer is, of course, “Yes.” So what I want you to do now is to take a minute and think about what might be preventing you from living out your life in perfect love toward God and toward one another. What gets in the way of being the person God created and intends you to be? Maybe it’s a fear, a resentment, a grudge. Or it could be a memory, a hurt, a broken relationship. These are often the things that gnaw at your heart, the things that keep you up at night, the things that cause you to react before you take the time to reflect. It might even be your own tendency toward the worldly sense of perfection, the perfectionism that causes you to beat up on yourself. Whatever they are, I would encourage you to hand them over to God. Because perfection in God’s eyes means living in love, and these are the things that prevent us from doing so.
Hand these concerns over to God – in confession, in prayer, in a journal, in loving conversations with people you trust. Be open to God’s perfect love flowing in and through your whole being.
So the next time you’re tempted to condemn yourself to your room for having not been perfect, realize that God has made you and loves you just the way you are. Realize that you are already prefect in God’s eyes. And then work on grasping it — claiming that perfection – that perfect love – for yourself. It is difficult, but we are called to see and grasp God’s love for us, and then live it out in perfect love toward one another. That is being perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect.
