Soul Ties

A soul tie is the knitting together of two souls that can either bring tremendous blessings in a Godly relationship or tremendous destruction when made with the wrong persons.

A soul tie in the Bible can be described not only by the word knit, but also by the word cleave, which means to bring close together, follow close after, be attached to someone, or adhere to one another as with glue. David and Jonathan actually formed a covenant because they loved each other so deeply. Their souls were knit together (tied or joined together). The stronger the bonding or soul ties between friends the deeper and more lasting the relationship is. The emotional and mental strengths of one sustain the other in times of adversity. (Difficulties or misfortune) and allows them to rejoice with the other in the time of triumph. When love between friends is pure and not polluted by any selfish desire, the bond between them works well in their lives.

Jesus speaks of this kind of love in John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends." That is the kind of love Jonathan and David had, and that is why it was a Godly soul tie. Because of this type of Godly soul tie, it formed the basis for a good marriage and a enduring relationship. In deep and pure friendships and relationships the two souls draw strength and encouragement from each other as well as security and love.

In order to have this kind of friendship, you have to very selective and get wisdom from God. The Holy Spirit will teach you how to have this kind of relationship. It takes people that have a pure and giving heart and puts their love in action. If you have a close friend in your life right now and they have these characteristics that is good. If they are selfish and controlling you need to pray and get the wisdom from above on what to do, because the friendship could become dangerous, because your souls are knit together, emotionally and this is not a Godly soul tie.

The early church in the book of acts was so explosive and experienced such power and the reason was they were unified. While a soul tie will develop between any two people who are open to one another, the strength of those soul ties depends upon how deeply involved with another their heart becomes. You can become soul tied to family, friends, co-workers and the leadership you are under. Unity we have with others is an open expression of our soul ties.

Carefully examine our friends (male or Female) before it becomes a covenant or relationship, because people that come into our lives can influence the shaping of our lives and our walk with Jesus.

Check their motives, here are a few things to watch for.

1. Is this person a compromising person or is it their way or no way.

2. Are they self-centered?

3. Do they have a giving spirit or do they always want to take?

4. Are they kind, gentle and above all loving?

5. Are they saved and walking with Jesus?

6. Are they controlling or manipulative? Beware

When a person who is bonded to another is governed by impure motives or the desire for selfish gain, the soul tie between them can enable (make able) that selfish one to manipulate and abuse the other. A person can actually control another through soul ties, because the mind of the two are open to one another. Ungodly soul ties can potentially establish if the relationship is not under the Lordship of Christ. God demands first place in our hearts, spouses are to be second, followed by children, family, friends and associates.

In ungodly relationships these soul ties may place us in emotional and mental bondage to others and causing us to do and say things to our own hurt. Even in seemingly good relationships ungodly soul ties can develop if these relationships Are not in divine order. When you get married you must break the soul ties with the parents. When our strongest soul tie is to God, there is a divine covering and protection that will enable us to withstand forming ungodly soul ties. The Holy Ghost. Since the sexual union of marriage ties two souls as one, what do you think happens if a person commits fornication or adultery with another person Outside of the marriage. Actually, your soul becomes mysteriously knit and tied to the other person also. They cleaved together just as in marriage. The soul ties formed through illicit sexual involvement can be as strong and binding as those formed through the marriage covenant.

God designed the universe to function with natural and spiritual laws that bring freedom when obeyed, but bondage and destruction when broken and violated. Just as two souls can be knit or made to cleave together in a covenant relationship, they can also be tied or knit together to form bondage and enslavement. Sexual union was ordained by God to make two marriage partners one flesh before God, but promiscuous premarital and extramarital affairs can mysteriously tie ones soul to many partners.

Two souls can be knit or made to cleave together in a covenant relationship, they can also be tied or knit together to form bondage and enslavement. Sexual union was ordained by GOD to make two marriage partners one flesh before GOD, but promiscuous premarital affairs and extramarital affairs can mysteriously tie ones soul to many partners. We just don’t have any conception of promiscuity ( sex) outside of marriage scatters their souls and destroys their ability to commit to one partner. It is very important that married couples keep their sexual life to satisfaction, because if not the other may become strongly tempted to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. Remember if you are your spouse become tempted and start thinking about a picture will develop in your mind if you think on it enough. Eventually it will manifest.

God has so built every woman that the first man who has sex with her takes a form of dominion over her. Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Her human spirit and soul is built to respond to the man by nurturing him, supplying affection to him and being that mans fountain of satisfaction to him all through his life. God made woman to develop a longing desire for their first lover (supposedly their husband)

The dominion a soul tie gives a man over his lover is often so binding that he can insult and mistreat her but she seems helplessly enslaved to him. Many women will tolerate all kinds of abuse and they won’t understand why: They end up hating themselves, because they don’t understand about soul ties. Whenever you hate yourself it is hard to give real love or receive real love. People that have formed soul ties with many people through fornication and promiscuity, their souls have become fragmented and scattered among all their sexual partners. If you are unable to give yourself fully to your mate (husband) it is because your thoughts and emotions are being continually drawn back to their past lovers. This is also adultery in your heart. If a woman has sexual relations with several men, her spirit and soul seek out every one of them. Her spirit is scattered and torn apart.

If you have ever been raped, but yet you find yourself thinking or desiring the one that raped you, it is because the two souls have knit together. A man’s spirit is so built that for each woman he enters his spirit is built to find, protect, bless and nurture and provide for that woman. Guys have you been divorced and remarried, but you still seem to want to protect or take care of your ex-wife?

People that have been promiscuous, their souls are not only drawn to all their former lovers, but when they marry they often have sexual and communication problems with their mates. They are unable to be sexually satisfied by their marriage partner because they suffer from a scattered soul and cannot share themselves fully with their mate. They often seek satisfaction, not only with multiple partners, but also through experimentation with bizarre forms of sex that may eventually lead to perversion. Multiple soul ties will weaken your character, your will, your emotions and your mind to the point that a decision to be free is difficult to make.

Lust and sin are gratifying for the moment, but a person always pays later in shame, guilt, humiliation, and anger towards God, sorrow and torment. Sometimes we don’t see that we are involved in those things because of denial. We tell ourselves that there is nothing in our past to deal with and we don’t want to change. Fear of change keeps you in bondage and fear is not of the Lord. Years of sin have weakened our character to the point of destroying the desires for good and making it difficult to change. There is HOPE (blueprint, picture) and that is Jesus. If you make him the Lord of your life and serve Him with all your heart, you can and will be set free if you believe and receive. You can be set totally free if you allow God to set you free, but He gives us a choice. He won’t make us do anything we do not want to do.

Breaking Soul-Ties

Perhaps you still dream about or long for someone that you were never able to release from your spirit, even though it’s been years. Perhaps you are currently in an unhealthy relationship you know you should get out of. Or you try to leave the situation but always end up returning to it. Maybe you have been in an intimate relationship with someone and although you know it’s wrong and you want to please God, you simply cannot resist the desire to stay involved with them. Perhaps you are tormented with thoughts about someone in your mind. You have soul ties.

Your soul is made up of your mind, your will and your emotions; it is your inner life. A soul tie is an emotional connection or a bond with another that unites you. Soul ties are not necessarily bad. After all, God created them. They can be good if it’s something that God wants for your life. As a matter of fact, in Matthew 18:19, Jesus says, “If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them”. When two people come together in a good soul tie, the power of God intensifies.

In 1 Samuel 18:1, we read that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David” (NKJV). Jonathan’s and David’s souls were tied together in a way that God blessed. Likewise, marriage represents a good soul tie between a husband and wife, because their souls are joined together as one flesh (see Mark 10:8).

As I headed out for my morning walk today, I saw my big dog, Chester Savoy Foy, tied to the gate. We are having some work done in our backyard and we didn’t want Chester to get loose, so we had to tie him up. I visually saw him tied to the gate. He wasn’t going anywhere. I was sure he wanted to. He desired to. He wished he could. But the fact is, that chain is pretty secure and it kept him bound.

Think about your own life. What’s keeping you bound? What are you tied to in your soul that you can’t get free from? Who are you still emotionally connected to because of wrong soul ties? You want to break free. You desire to. You wish you could, but you feel chained. These chains must be broken.

How are soul ties formed?

1. Close relationships.

When you spend a lot of time with someone, you are forming a bond. Through whatever you do together – eating, traveling, working, talking – the connection strengthens. You have soul ties with your coworkers, your family members, your children, your classmates. Jonathan and David are a perfect example of a God-designed soul tie. In this type of kinship, God’s power increases. The same is true for a wrong soul tie. In that instance, it opens an opportunity for Satan to work on your behalf, and his evil power is intensified.

2. Vows, commitments, promises.

Soul ties can be formed by the words of your mouth. Words have such power over your life! Think of what it really means when you say statements such as: “I will never stop loving you.” “You will always be the only one I love.” “I will never get you out of my heart.” “You’re the only one I will ever give my love to.” “Nobody will ever take your place in my life.” Can you just imagine how much power these words yield?

The Bible says that we can be “snared” by the words of our mouth: “You are snared by the words of your mouth; you are taken by the words of your mouth” (Proverbs 6:2 NKJV). A snare means a trap, a hook or a plan. Your very own words could be keeping you trapped to a bad soul tie, which explains why you feel like something is pulling on you, preventing you from fully going forward.

3. Sexual relationships.

Soul ties are formed any time and every time there is intimacy in a relationship. You may have ended a physically intimate relationship months ago, but you still feel a pull toward that person. Why? Because of soul ties.

Soul ties prevent us from moving on to new relationships, even the ones God may be leading us into. This can even happen in situations of divorce. The divorce is over, a new marriage is pursued, but one spouse keeps being drawn back to his or her ex-husband or ex-wife. Their soul is still tied to the former spouse.

James 1:8 says, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” A double-minded person is one with a divided soul. Do you feel unstable at times? Do you want to move on with your life but are struck in random moments of missing your ex-boyfriend? This is being double -minded and not something God wants you to experience. He wants you free from every sin of your past – even the ones you willfully gave into over and over but still think about.

There are certain things you can do to help you through this trying and uncomfortable process of breaking free from a relationship you feel God wants you to get free of:

A. Decide to please God more than anyone.

You have one life to live., and it matters to God. One day, you will stand before God and give an account of your life and what you were called to do during your time here on earth. You cannot live your life displeasing God in order to please someone else. All that will do is eventually bring you a life of deep regret.

You have to come to the place in your life where pleasing God is the most important thing to you. If He is prompting you to end a relationship that you’re tied to, then you need to end it. Allowing someone to have as much influence as God should have in your life opens the door for Satan to come into your life. He will make it so much harder for you to give up this soul tie. The right time to cut the strings is now. Today. Even this very minute.

B. Build yourself up in the Word.

You must have daily doses of God’s Word in order to develop the strength to sever an ungodly soul tie. You cannot do this on your own. Filling yourself with God’s Word can help you make the right decisions. It must be a part of your strategic plan to be free of your past.

The Bible is your greatest weapon against Satan. He does not want you to break your soul ties. He is desperately working to keep you locked into this situation. The devil will lie to you and convince you that you cannot live without him/her. He will remind you day and night of all the good times, the fun times, the laughter, and torment you into thinking you cannot live without this person. He is a liar.

God’s Word, the Truth, will override Satan’s lies. Just like anything else, you won’t see results overnight. You have to make studying the Word a habit. In my new book, I share simple steps to developing habits of spending time in the Word. You decide your habits, your habits will decide your future.

C. Wean Yourself from that person.

You literally have to wean yourself from that person to whom you have ungodly soul ties. To wean means to deprive. You have to deprive yourself of this wrong soul tie until you no longer miss him or her. And listen to this: there will come a day when you will no longer miss that person.

Psalm 131:2 says, “Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul like a weaned child with his mother. Like a weaned child is my soul within me ceased from fretting.” I remember when I was trying to wean my daughter off of the pacifier. Every night, it had become a part of our nightly routine to give her a pacifier as I laid her in her crib for the night. An hour or two later, I would remove the pacifier, and her little mouth would still be moving as if the pacifier were still there! It was so cute!

However, when it was time to wean her from it, it was torture. It was unbearable for her and she screamed at the top of her lungs for that “thing” she was used to getting. It was unbearable for me as I could not do anything except let her cry. Oh, it broke my heart. I felt like a bad mom! Finally, what felt like an eternity of torturing my baby ended. She cried herself to sleep.

The next night, it didn’t get any easier! It was like starting over again. The same thing happened night after night. One night, however, the crying seemed to fade. It wasn’t as loud or as long as the previous nights. Eventually, of course, the crying completely stopped. The hours of crying turned into nights of silence. My baby, who is now 13, hasn’t missed her pacifier since!

When you first deny yourself of your wrong soul tie, rest assured that your spirit will throw a fit. Your emotions will scream and fight for the right to stay in bondage. But the more you deny yourself the thing that you are screaming for, the less you begin to desire it. Your flesh will eventually stop throwing temper tantrums and will start being subsided by the Spirit of God.

There are many ways to wean yourself off of an ungodly soul tie. The most obvious and important action to take is to cut all communication. Don’t call the person. Don’t answer their phone calls. Don’t hang out in places where you know they’ll be. Don’t be alone with them. Don’t email them. Delete their emails. You may have to take drastic measures to be free, but I promise you, it’s worth it. Doing this is being obedient to God and you will never regret submitting to your Heavenly Father. God always blesses obedience. Remember this: partial obedience is still disobedience. Disobedience opens the door for a curse to come on your life. Fully obey what you know God is telling you to do.

When you compromise, agony and anxiety become your companions. When you obey God, peace and joy become a part of your life. You can never have total peace when you’re in disobedience to God. The only way to obtain peace is to submit to Him and do whatever He wants you to do. Your feelings will lie to you. You have to ignore them and do what you know you’re supposed to do.

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